By LORALEE SAXON

Daily News Reporter

You really know you've gone from being an amateur to a professional comic when you get a better car.

At least that's what Emery Emery, of Olathe, says. He wanted to make sure his new status as a successful comedian was noticeable, so he bought "Turbo" stickers and affixed them to the side of his new Saab.

"The turbo option costs about $4,000 he said, "so I got the car without the turbo, then I spent about $30 for the turbo stickers and stuck them on the car. You really don't need the turbo, anyway."

This past year has been a successful one for Emery, who next week will be the featured comic at Stanford and Sons Comedy House, 543 Westport Road. Since his last appearance in Kansas City a year ago, Emery has worked steadily on the college circuit.

"It was a huge, huge break for me," he said. "The college tour is from August through May. We did a different school almost every night - an average of six a week ... really 6 1/2 a week. Sometimes we did two a day. "

Emery traveled in a van with two other comics, a juggling comedian and a stand-up comic. The money was great, he said, but the audiences were harder to warm up than those in night clubs.

Photo by Scott Anderson
One of the trappings of comic Emery Emery's recent success is his new 'Turbo' Saab.

"College kids are not ready to give it all up," he said. "Usually by the end of the routine, you have them where the night club audiences start out."

But these days, after working as a comic for about four years, Emery is more relaxed and ready to work in front of a tough audience.

"They say - whoever 'they' are - that the number one scariest thing is getting up in front of people," he said. "The first time I went on stage, I paced so avidly that people who were watching said the audience looked like they were watching a tennis match."

Emery's first stab at being a comedian was during amateur night at Stanford and Sons, although he had been making people laugh since he was in school.

"I was pretty wild and pretty crazy in school," he said. "I wasn't the class cut-up, I was more like the class beat-up, because I mouthed off too often. "

During his first three-minute appearance, he got one laugh, he said.

"It was only three minutes, but it seemed like eons," he said. "I went out there and ate it. All my friends said, 'You were great! You were great!' They lied to me. So now I'm doing it all over the country, because my friends lied to me."

Emery's humor is built around situations he encounters every day. For example, he likes to tell about his skiing experiences: "I had this friend who said, 'Save your money. Don't take lessons. I'll take you up to the top of the mountain and show you how ... ' "

He said he wrote about 500 minutes of material about his divorce, after he was able to laugh about it. A friend and, fellow comic had advised him to write down everything that happened to him during the divorce.

"He said, 'In about a year, it's going to become funny,' and I looked at him like he was Satan from Hell," Emery said, "but he was right."

Since coming home to Olathe in June for a brief respite from traveling, he has written about his experiences at a blood bank, where a friend forced him to watch the entire procedure of giving blood.

"I just tell about things that happen to me," he said. "But I always close the show with a piece about having fun, because people always think that being a grown up means not having fun any more.

"I always say, 'You're never too old to have a happy childhood, and I mean it, too. And that's why I like doing comedy."

Emery Emery (his real name) will appear at Stanford and Sons Comedy House Tuesday through Thursday at 9 p.m., Friday at 8 and 11 p.m., and Saturday at 6, 8:30 and ll p.m.